Stop the judgment!

I had an interesting conversation with a sisterfriend yesterday. She'd read my blog entry about the Lunapads give-away and thanked me for bringing up the subject. Her daughter was born about a month after mine and since her cycle returned she'd been using cloth menstrual pads... but was afraid to tell anyone. She and I both cloth diaper our babies, so we've often vibed about cloth diapering and other green parenting methods. But she was hessitant to talk openly about her cloth pad use because she was afraid of being judged. She's seen how people have reacted in disgust when the subject is breached. And some members of her family and community had been vocal about their feelings on her methods before. When you set out to do something a little different or unconventional, sometimes people will look at you funny and label you for it. This sort of hearkens back to my whole "Black Folks Don't..." discussion. She thought if she mentioned that she uses cloth pads, people wouldn't be very understanding of her choice and decide that she's going too far. So to save herself the scrutiny, she just chooses not to mention it.

This brings to light the issue I've had with setting out on this journey: the judgment from both ends of the spectrum. Some people have kind of written me off as a "hippie" or "new age" for trying to do some things more naturally. Amazingly, some fellow "Christians" (notice the quotation marks) have even labeled me a pagan. That's a whole other blog entry in itself! But on the same token, some people who I look to for green living advice are often ultra-militant about their lifestyles. They absolutely cannot stand to see anyone neglect to recycle, use disposable diapers, or drive non-hybrid cars. On one messageboard, I saw a mother basically slam other moms for using plastic baby bottles and letting their kids play with plastic toys. She only uses glass bottles and wooden toys because of the threat of chemicals leeching out of plastics. Seriously? If I use a Playtex nurser I'm less of a mother than you? Come on, people!

In general, people -- especially moms -- are just doing the best they can. My journey has been about finding simple ways I could make my family a little "greener"... one at a time. Yes, I encourage others to try some of the things we've implemented, but they're certainly not the ogres of the world if they don't want to do things my way. I don't even think like that. This is a place for sharing and education, not judgment. Barking at people won't make them change, and dismissing them won't stop them from doing what they will. We could enrich each other's lives so much just by opening our hearts and minds and choosing understanding over judgment.

Actually, I wish my friend had shared her methods earlier. It would have saved me a lot of research, exploration, and confusion. We had a very informative talk and she gave me so much guidance on an issue about which I'd been curious. In her vulnerability, she helped me. Imagine how many others she might have helped already. I can't thank her enough for that, and I'm reminded once again of how we can let our judgement and other people's judgment keep us all in bondage. That's not a lesson just for green living. It's a lesson for everyday living.

I feel like you're taking advantage of me

I need to clean my house. No seriously, I do. I'm not the greatest of housekeepers in the first place, but especially now that we have a little munchkin I've gotten really bad. I just don't have the time, energy, or interest anymore. Imagine the laundry pile from my previous blog entry. Now imagine that pile in every corner of your house. That's how much I've neglected my chores lately. It's time to bust a move and bust some suds!

When I first found out I was pregnant with Layla I started looking for ways to reduce toxicity levels in our home. I didn't want anything harming the development of my little growing fetus. That led me to look into greener cleaning options, namely some "environmentally friendly" cleaning products from widely-known big names. I won't state the ones I used, but you know them when you see them in the stores -- "Green Cleaning Product" made by [insert popular name brand here]. They looked nice and they smelled a lot less toxic than their non-green counterparts. But if you read the label, the ingredients are so ambiguous. What is "plant-based cleaning agents" supposed to mean? And then to top it off, they color the products green so that you REALLY know you're making a positive impact on the environment. I'm not saying that all or any of them are being dishonest about their product's environmental friendliness, but I can't help but think I'm being had. Can you say "Greenwashing"?

Because I believe living a greener life most often means returning to simplicity, I'm now looking into home-made cleaning formulas. I figure I'll choose a room at a time to explore some of these methods and then post my results. I'm looking to Green Living Ideas to find some of my recipes. Today I'll start with the kitchen.

All Purpose Surface Cleaner - Mix together equal parts white vinegar and salt. Scrub surfaces with a natural cleaning cloth.

Cookware Cleaner - Coarse salt does wonders for scouring copper pans and ceramic baking dishes.

No-Streak Glass Cleaner - For sparkling mirrors and windows, combine 1/4 cup undiluted white vinegar, 1 tbsp cornstarch, and 1 quart warm water. Divide into spray bottles. For a lint-free shine, wipe dry with a sheet of crumpled newspaper or a coffee filter.

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MOMMY TIP: I have some old birdseye cotton diapers I used to use as burp cloths for Layla. Some of them came apart at the seams during a wash one time, so now I use the plies as cleaning rags. These can work great for windows and glass and it's a good way to re-purpose something you have. See, Layla's already helping mommy with the housework!

I'm just going to put it out there...

Okay, I'm making myself vulnerable here. I've decided to share something so personal, so shameful, that I rarely ever tell anyone about it. It's been an embarrassment of mine for a very long time, and quite frankly I'm still not over the shame of it all. But for the greater good, I feel it's best I share this most abasing aspect of my life. *deep breath* Alright, here goes...



This is our laundry pile. Garment upon garment of washed, yet unfolded clothes. Some of them were washed just yesterday. Others were washed weeks ago. Instead of folding them or hanging them in the closet, every morning we go down to the lower level of our home, rummage through the monstrous pile, and hope we find something suitable to wear to work. Let's see that again, shall we?

Wow, it looks even more monstrous from that angle, doesn't it? I'm really very ashamed of the way we treat our laundry. Why am I sharing all of this? Because I want to prove a point. I'm an avid proponent of cloth diapering and the number one concern/objection I get from people I talk to about it is that they don't want to do all the laundry that comes with it. They insist that they can barely keep up with the laundry they have, so they're sure they'd never be able to wash diapers regularly. However, as you can clearly see from the pictures above, neither I nor my husband are particularly on top of our laundry game, yet our daughter's diapers always manage to look like this:


Look at the contrast! How is it we can manage to keep her diapers washed and folded neatly, yet our clothes are left to sort themselves? I really wish I had the answer to that question, but I do know this: Even the most laundry-averse of us can successfully cloth diaper our children. No, I don't particularly like doing laundry, but in all honesty I haven't found washing and caring for her diapers to be all that cumbersome. In fact, it's become pretty routine at this point. And besides, anyone with kids is going to spend more than their fair share of time in front of a washer and dryer. Those munchkins dirty everything they wear... constantly! So I find the "I don't wanna do laundry" argument a bit curious, given the amount of laundry most parents do on a daily basis anyway. From one laundry-phobe to another, it's really not that bad.

So, there's all my business out in the open for everyone to see. I hope someone's found it helpful. Oddly, I feel a little better now having admitted I have a problem. It's kind of liberating!