Stop the judgment!

I had an interesting conversation with a sisterfriend yesterday. She'd read my blog entry about the Lunapads give-away and thanked me for bringing up the subject. Her daughter was born about a month after mine and since her cycle returned she'd been using cloth menstrual pads... but was afraid to tell anyone. She and I both cloth diaper our babies, so we've often vibed about cloth diapering and other green parenting methods. But she was hessitant to talk openly about her cloth pad use because she was afraid of being judged. She's seen how people have reacted in disgust when the subject is breached. And some members of her family and community had been vocal about their feelings on her methods before. When you set out to do something a little different or unconventional, sometimes people will look at you funny and label you for it. This sort of hearkens back to my whole "Black Folks Don't..." discussion. She thought if she mentioned that she uses cloth pads, people wouldn't be very understanding of her choice and decide that she's going too far. So to save herself the scrutiny, she just chooses not to mention it.

This brings to light the issue I've had with setting out on this journey: the judgment from both ends of the spectrum. Some people have kind of written me off as a "hippie" or "new age" for trying to do some things more naturally. Amazingly, some fellow "Christians" (notice the quotation marks) have even labeled me a pagan. That's a whole other blog entry in itself! But on the same token, some people who I look to for green living advice are often ultra-militant about their lifestyles. They absolutely cannot stand to see anyone neglect to recycle, use disposable diapers, or drive non-hybrid cars. On one messageboard, I saw a mother basically slam other moms for using plastic baby bottles and letting their kids play with plastic toys. She only uses glass bottles and wooden toys because of the threat of chemicals leeching out of plastics. Seriously? If I use a Playtex nurser I'm less of a mother than you? Come on, people!

In general, people -- especially moms -- are just doing the best they can. My journey has been about finding simple ways I could make my family a little "greener"... one at a time. Yes, I encourage others to try some of the things we've implemented, but they're certainly not the ogres of the world if they don't want to do things my way. I don't even think like that. This is a place for sharing and education, not judgment. Barking at people won't make them change, and dismissing them won't stop them from doing what they will. We could enrich each other's lives so much just by opening our hearts and minds and choosing understanding over judgment.

Actually, I wish my friend had shared her methods earlier. It would have saved me a lot of research, exploration, and confusion. We had a very informative talk and she gave me so much guidance on an issue about which I'd been curious. In her vulnerability, she helped me. Imagine how many others she might have helped already. I can't thank her enough for that, and I'm reminded once again of how we can let our judgement and other people's judgment keep us all in bondage. That's not a lesson just for green living. It's a lesson for everyday living.

Who is this lady and what is she talking about?

Wow, where do I start?

Well, first I’d like to introduce myself. My name is Tawnya Anderson and I live in Maryland with my husband of almost two years. Most people call me by my middle name, Denise, but my daughter just calls me “mmmmmma ma ma ma ma!" Speaking of my daughter, her name is Layla and she is seven months old. Personally, I think she’s the most adorable baby on the planet, but I admit I’m biased.

Layla’s birth changed my life in so many ways. I’d always considered myself a pretty healthy and “green” person. I grew up in Hampton, Virginia, and the Hampton Roads area is a very environmentally conscious region. I remember when the city first implemented its recycling program when I was a child. All residents were required to participate, and if your recycling bin was not at the curb on collection day you had to pay a fee. As a result, I’m a faithful recycler to this day. I’ve been a vegetarian for 17 years because I feel it’s a healthier and more earth-friendly way of living. I bring my own bags to the grocery store (when I remember). I respect nature deeply and I guess you could say I’m a stereotypical tree-hugger. However, having my daughter opened my eyes to so many other aspects of green living that I’d never considered. If you’re not a mom, let me tell you that motherhood makes you worry about and research EVERYTHING. And I found that when I became a mother I got increasingly concerned about the environment in which my daughter would be living. I’d like for this blog to not only be a place for me to chronicle my experiences trying to raise a “green” baby, but also collaborate with others about how we can all live a little greener.

Additionally, I’d like to for this blog to function as a place for advocacy and social awareness. I’m African-American (if you couldn’t tell by my profile picture), and I am incredibly disturbed by the lack of environmental concern or awareness among some (by no means all) members of the African-American community. Moreover, it pains me that more people don’t realize how marginalized communities specifically are negatively impacted by pollution and ecologically unfriendly practices. I will be exploring issues of environmental racism in this blog. I am also a devout Christian, and one of my biggest pet-peeves about the church is its failure to address environmental issues. I believe our faith calls us to be good stewards of the home God has given us, especially when we consider how our neglect of the planet affects “the least of these.” Through this blog I intend to lovingly take communities of faith to task on the subject.

While I have some strong views, I do intend to express them with as much respect and tenderness as possible. It is not my intention to present my lifestyle as the ideal to which all people should strive. By no means do I have it all together, so if what you’re doing is working for you, then I’m all for it. I have nothing but respect for people of differing views and I invite all to connect and vibe with me, even if we disagree. All I want to do is inspire thought and invite others to consider how these things affect them, their children, and their world. So with that, I welcome you and look forward to connecting with you!