Girl, you know black folks don't...

You know, over the years as I've explored ways of living naturally I've had my "blackness" questioned many times by my own people. When I became a vegetarian, I got comments like, "Girl, as much poke (pork) as black folks eat? You gonna want some fried chicken in a minute!" Some people genuinely didn't believe me and would encourage me to just "eat the sausage" anyway. When I stopped chemically straightening my hair, people would say, "You'll never get a job like that. You know [white] folks won't take you seariously if your hair is nappy." Not surprisingly, when I got pregnant and started to embrace more natural parenting methods like low-tech birth and cloth diapering, I got comments like, "You're gonna get sick of them cloth diapers," or "Most women have an epidural. Your mama had an epidural. You'll be hollaring for that epidural, watch!"

I've learned it's not my "blackness" that they question. It's the appearance that I think I'm too good to do what my people had been doing for years. Why isn't the way we've always done things good enough for you?

Thankfully, I find that most people I know who are of my generation support natural, eco-friendly living and many practice it themselves. It seems I mostly get the sideways comments from my elders, sadly. I was speaking with a lady in my church who saw me feeding my daughter some Happy Baby Organic Apple Puffs.

She told me she would tell her daughter-in-law about them because she's so "picky" about what her child eats. I could hear the condescension in her voice when she said, "picky." It made me laugh, because I'm that "picky daughter-in-law" who feeds her baby organic food, breastfed exclusively for 5.5 months, wears her regularly instead of using a stroller, only uses cloth diapers, and prefers not to let her have table food or certain snacks until she's a year old. I smiled, looked her in the eye, and said, "She should be picky."

The funny thing is that when you set out to do things naturally and are successful, the elders are often amazed. When we visited family in Ohio the other weekend, I swear I brought Layla's entire diaper stash with us. My aunts and uncles marveled at how far cloth diapers have come and how easy it was to work with them. They were sure we would have given up on that by now. But seeing how we raise her naturally, and seeing how healthy, happy, and well-adjusted our daughter is, they understand it now. My aunt even told me she was proud of me.

Eventually, the elders accepted my diet and have seen how heartily I can eat with no meat on my plate. They got used to my hair and even begged me never to cut it. And now when they see how we raise our little tree-hugger, they seem to get it. Maybe these new-fangled black folks with their new-fangled ideas and practices might have something here.